Red Lip Society

My husband and I just spent eight wonderful days at the happiest place on earth, Walt Disney World.  We had a wonderful time!  It was just the two of us and we played, laughed and ate all the things.

As I was in this beautiful state of childlike play and fantasy I couldn’t help but notice something that did dampen my spirits while there, and that was the fact of how families talk to each other: mainly wives to their husbands.

This one couple was walking toward me and I could tell they were in the middle of a passionate discussion ……or at least she was. He was trying to get a word in when she asked him, “Are you still talking?” And she was totally serious!  I hate to see men be bullied.

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. – Proverbs 15:4

As we were sitting at one of the restaurants in the Magic Kingdom, I made a comment about a family sitting close by to us and how much I enjoyed watching them enjoy each other (I am a people watcher.)  I had no more finished the thought when I heard the woman say to her husband, “Well, we just need to talk about this right now!” She then proceeded to chastise him for something that he had to do for work before they left on their vacation and how he should have “conferred” with her about it. The whole tone of their table changed.  The kids started acting up and throwing food everywhere.  The father just sat there looking defeated.

I couldn’t help but think how this lady had put a damper on her families meal together and, by the looks of her husbands face when they left, on the rest of their day. The kids certainly felt it.

I observed many instances like those that I have just mentioned.

Ladies, what are we doing?  Why are we using our words to beat down our men? Why are we letting how we feel about something change the atmosphere of our families whole day?

I guess you have heard that phrase, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” And I’m sorry to say that it seems to be true.

I sometimes tend to get quiet. Nothing is wrong. I just feel like being quiet. My husband has gotten use to it and lets it go until I’m ready to use words again. My beautiful step-daughter on the other hand, thinks something is wrong and I can see that it changes the atmosphere in the room if I am not careful. I try to be mindful of this.

Ladies, we are created by God to naturally be caretakers and nurturers. Are some of us better at it than some of the rest? Sure…as with everything. But God created us to be a helpmate to man.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

Are we important and do our opinions matter? Of course! But there is always a time and a place and a way to express those things.  In the middle of a nice lunch with your family is not that time.  Or disrespecting someone by not letting them even take part in your verbal beat-down…not the time either.

Use your words to build people, not tear them down.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. – Ephesians 4:29

It is also wise to remember that “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)”  You can pour water or gasoline on any situation with your words.  Doesn’t our family, doesn’t our spouse, deserve our kind words?  Don’t they deserve for us to love them? To build them?

I pray everyday that I am not a nagging wife and that I speak kindly to my husband.  Do I get it right 100% of the time.  No!  But I do try.  And often times I feel the Holy Spirit speak to me saying, “Be quiet, Scarlett. Don’t say that, Scarlett. Choose different words for that, Scarlett. Shut up, Scarlett!” (The Holy Spirit has to be blunt with me sometimes to get my attention.)

This is something that is heavy on my heart right now.  Can we pray about it together?

Father, I pray today that you would help your daughters to be builders and nurturers with our words.  That we would speak kindly to everyone but especially to those that you have entrusted into our care: our husbands, our children.  Let our words be different from those of the world around us.  Let our words speak life and not death.  Let our words be filled with your love and truth.  In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

Do not be discouraged if you struggle with this!  God will help you if you will ask Him. We are to be bearers of the light of Jesus Christ!  And that should be reflected in our actions and in our words.  Speak life, ladies!

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person. – Matthew 15:11

And since I have just spent eight days at the happiest place on earth I will also leave you with this statement, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” – Thumper